OPERATING SYSTEMS Submitted by J. Hovind ===================================================================== UNIX Airways: Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing nonstop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building. Air DOS: Everybody lines up and pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on... Mac Airlines: All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up and get on board. Windows Air: The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth takeoff. After about 10 minutes in the air, the engine sputters and the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever. Windows NT Air: Just like a nuclear powered Windows Air. It costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40 mile radius when it explodes. Linux Air: Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time, the only problem is that you could not bring any of your current luggage on board. When you try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"